Leaving loved ones for the Kingdom

     One of the most difficult parts of our ministry is acknowledging what the Word of God says about marriage and divorce. We live in a generation where divorce and remarriage are accepted by society and the church. But it was not always so. Historically, the church upheld what Jesus and Paul preached - if anyone remarried while their spouse was still alive, they committed adultery. It has only been during the last 50 years that the church has relaxed her standards and allowed remarried couples to join the church.

     The following story is one couple's response after studying God's word on marriage and divorce. Eric and Kathy have decided they can no longer continue to live as man and wife:

     Some changes have developed here regarding my relationship with Kathy. You were very gentle about remarriage in your newsletters, but you were right. After reading the Word of God about divorce and remarriage and praying about it, Kathy and I have decided to separate. I am presently working on another place for her to live, realizing that our former spouses still live. That is a major change which I feel the Lord will honor.

     It is the dead of winter now and there is no particular place for her to go, but Lord willing there is a house that is coming up for rent in April. I am going to be sleeping in my study and we are working things out from there. It is right brother, and it is what needs to be done. It is very clear from the Word of God.

     Another change is that Kathy has decided to put her children back in public school. I am sorry that she has elected to put them back into a state school, but looking at it from a practical standpoint, she has no choice. She has no man. She has no husband.

     She needs to be reconciled to her husband - but he is terrible. He is a drinker and has a married woman for his girlfriend. It is just one awful thing after another. Unless he is saved and repents, there is no possibility of reconciliation.

     The fact of the matter is that Kathy and I must separate because that is now the revealed will of God. And because we are separating, she cannot educate her children at home because she will probably have to do some work to pay bills in addition to his support payments. Practically speaking, that is what is going to have to happen. That is why claiming residency in Heaven can only work with a husband and a wife properly married and subject to the Lord.

     I have done some reading on what the church's position on remarriage has been in the past. Absolutely, almost 99 percent of the time, no church member was ever allowed to remarry while their spouse was still alive, with the one possible exception of "abandonment" under the Westminister Confession of Faith. It has only been within the last fifty years that churches have accepted into membership those who have remarried.

     The truth of the matter is that what you have been saying in your newsletters is exactly what the Lord says. If a person is married to another person while their spouse lives, even if they were legally divorced, they are committing adultery. It is as clear as a bell in the Word of God: "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery" Luke 16:18.

     When God looks on the situation, He sees a nation of adulterers. And they have justified their adultery under the name of marriage, under the guise of marriage. They are deceiving themselves into thinking that they are not sinning.

     I look around and I see what has happened in this country. I see no power of God in any churches. I see no evidence of His movings - even in the most fundamental circles. Could the reason be that most of God's people are living in a condition of adultery?

     I attend a church periodically and I would say that over 50 percent of the couples there are remarried. Is it any wonder why going to church becomes just a humdrum religious event? These people are walking in disobedience and the pastors are afraid to preach against this sin because they are going to lose their members. And if they lose their members, they are going to lose their offerings. And if they lose their offerings, then they are out on the street. They will have to go to work. After all, preaching is a job, like any other job. I just see it as one great big vicious cycle - and I am contributing to it in this fashion.

     I don't think marriage can work unless it is a first marriage - one husband, one wife and children. When you have another spouse trying to tell these children from another marriage what they need to do, you have a problem. It is just not natural. That is why remarriage is an unnatural state of affairs. In spite of the fact that she is a lovely wife, it cannot work. I see why the apostle Paul said, "better to remain as you are" (1 Corinthians 7:26,27). If you have been divorced, seek not a wife. If you do, you are asking for a whole host of complications that will impair you from being able to do the will of God in other areas.

     I think as far as being divorced and not being able to remarry, you have to get your eyes off of self. This is another classic example of the state granting you a privilege that God has forbidden. This shows again that the state is in conflict with the Word of God. By people's lives, they evidence what privileges they want and remarriage is one of those privileges.

     I was just reading a book on humanism and one of the things they promote is divorce and remarriage. Humanism is Romanism under the guise of another title. Everything centers in man, begins in man and ends in man.

     In your Thanksgiving newsletter, No. 925, I was reading about the lesbian woman. Of course she is in obvious error - but the day is coming when that evil will be looked upon as acceptable behavior. Just as divorce at one time was looked upon as horrid, now it is okay. It is just one thing after another.

     In your response to her, you said her brother was on his third marriage. Well, if remarriage is wrong on the third marriage, why would it not be wrong on the second? When does it become wrong? Does it become wrong on the second or the third or the fourth? Remarriage is wrong the second time, while the spouse is yet alive.

     The truth is the truth and if we really love the Lord we will do His commandments. If we really love the person we have been living with, we will do what is best for them. That is, we will keep the Lord's commandments, and not be selfish.

     Kathy and I were talking, "Well, maybe we should look for the blessing of the Lord." I said, "We don't have to look for anything from God, He has revealed it in His Word. What more do we need?" If it was something like, "Go to Africa and be a missionary," then we would look for certain leadings and evidences of His leading that way. But when it is so obvious and plain that He puts it in His Word, there is no need for any further confirmation.

Christ's servant,
Eric

Reader Disagrees

     The following letter was received in response to the above article:

Paul and Rachel,

     Greetings. Just received your newsletter. My heart is troubled to read of the split-up of Kathy and Eric. Your false teaching in this matter of marriage and adultery is bearing its fruit.

     In the pure sense, the man with whom a woman first had physical relations is her first "marriage." Your wife, Rachel, if applicable, would need to go back to this man if we followed your argument.

     God forgives as we repent. Your false teaching is destroying Godly unions (children and spouses). It promotes public school as women are left alone to fumble in confusion, and the parents' actions turn children away from God as they live with and witness these confused parents.

     Unless you publicly repent of this false teaching, please remove us from your mail list.

Carol

Dear Carol,

     You stated that the man with whom a woman first had physical relations is her first "marriage." We disagree. Having sexual intercourse does not make two people married. Marriage involves making a lifetime commitment to each other. When two unmarried people have sexual intercourse, each of them commits the sin of fornication. Fornication is a sin that God will forgive if we repent.

     In the Old Testament, if a man lays with a damsel who is a virgin, and not betrothed, and they are found out, the law compelled the man to make her his wife.

     The Mosaic law that compelled the couple to marry was an attempt to right a wrong. However, the act of having sexual intercourse did not make them married. They still needed to participate in some form of marriage ceremony.

     Jesus taught that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife until death do they part. If the couple did not make such a lifetime commitment to be joined as one flesh, they were not married.

     As far as Kathy enrolling her children in public school, we do not approve. Separating from an ungodly relationship is not an excuse to send the children back to the foreign schools of the state.

     Carol, I will not recant the word of God. Therefore, we have removed you from our mailing list as you requested. If you desire to receive further newsletters, please contact us. PR