Embassy of Heaven

Marriage

 

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FAQ's on Divorce and Remarriage

Q.

Is Desertion Grounds for Marrying Again? I am engaged to marry a woman whose husband has abandoned her. Is being deserted grounds to marry again?

A.

If a spouse in a lawful marriage has been abandoned or deserted, the abandoned party to the marriage is to remain unmarried or be reconciled (1 Corinthians 7:11). They are to pray, continue to be longsuffering, and wait patiently in hope. God may use the abandoned party to save the sinner (1 Corinthians 7:16). more...

Q.

I'm a remarried woman. Do you think it is God's will for me to divorce my second husband and go back to my first husband? He broke our relationship by getting another woman pregnant. The husband I have right now loves me like Christ loved the Church. Doesn't Apostle Paul say we are to stay in the same situation wherein we were called?

A.

According to Jesus, if someone divorces and they marry again, they are adulterers. (Matthew 19:9) In other words, if you divorce and then "marry" again while your spouse still lives, Jesus says you are an adulterer. Jesus further states, "All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given." (Matthew 9:11)

Apostle Paul says, "Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called." (1 Corinthians 7:20). This is a sound principle, but it does not apply to everything. For instance, a couple verses later Paul says that if you are called while you are a servant, care not for it. "But if thou mayest be made free, use it rather." (verse 21)

Would Apostle Paul ever recommend that someone who is a drunkard or a thief or in adultery to remain in sin? Surely not. At verse 24, Apostle Paul says, "Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God." (verse 24)

If a man or woman is living in a state that Jesus calls adultery, how can they then "abide with God?" As we already know, you cannot abide with God unless you repent. How do we repent? By fleeing sin. If you do not want to be called an adulterer, then stop living in a continuous state of adultery. Then you can abide with God. May the Holy Spirit lead us into all Truth. Amen.

Q.

I know the scripture says, "What God has joined together, let man not separate," but I believe I was not married to my first husband. God did not join us, I was deceived into marrying him. I did it before I was a Christian. We are now divorced. Wouldn't I be free to remarry?

A.

No. Marriage is marriage whether you are a Christian or not. The problem is that some people do not recognize their first marriage as a real marriage because they married before they knew Christ. If the only marriages God recognized were between Christians, then the whole world would be full of bastards. Children born out of the marriage of Hindus, Moslems and Humanists would all be bastards. This is preposterous. Look in the Bible. Many heathen marriages are mentioned. Jesus gave us no indication that these marriages were not recognized by God. When we get married, God considers us one flesh, regardless of our religious persuasions.

Q.

If my spouse quits walking with God, why am I obligated to stay married?

A.

Marriage is for better or worse. Maybe the "worse" part is when your spouse falls away from God, but you are still married. Marriage does not end because times are rough.

God instituted marriage as a lifetime commitment. And it has been that way from the beginning. We become one flesh when we enter into the sacred institution of marriage. We are joined into wedlock until one partner dies. Only God can end marriages through death (Romans 7:2). Man cannot separate what God has joined (Matthew 19:6).

This is a hard word. When the apostles heard Christ's word on marriage, they said, "then it is better not to marry" (Matthew 19:10). I don't think the apostles would have said that, if Jesus' teaching had all the modern-day escape clauses. In reality, there is no escape from marriage, just as there is no escape from Christ.

Q.

I admit that I committed adultery by marrying a divorced woman, but we have repented of that sin. Aren't all things new in Christ and the old things have passed away? (2 Corinthians 5:17)

A.

Yes, all things are new in Christ. But unless you depart from iniquity, you will die in your sins. To repent means to quit doing the sin. Scripture says that if you marry a divorced woman, you are living in a state of adultery. The only way out of that state is to separate from the adulterous relationship. 2 Corinthians 5:17 talks about the fruit of someone who is truly in Christ:

  1. "He is a new creation." He will not be what he once was. He will be producing the fruit of the Spirit.
  2. "Old things have passed away." If anyone is in Christ, he will have put aside the old ways and the sin that bound him.
  3. "Behold all things are become new." New creatures in Christ would not remain in adulterous relationships. They would go and sin no more. If you haven't done that, you are not a New Creature. Remember the woman caught in adultery? Jesus forgave her, but He also said, "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11).